Share it in the comments. Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again. . Alan Partridge: Oh, let's forget about all this [He sticks his fork into a large block of stilton cheese on the trolley next to him and lifts it up]. Alan Partridge : I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Which actually improves . Bye! Only Christians. Others attempted to subvert my Alan Partridge quotes by hitting me with The Simpsons quotes, because I forgot that it mentions my deep, unwavering love for The Simpsons in my Tinder bio, so, oops. "[My assistant]" Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. Charles and Camille. And I did. Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes. https://www.quotes.net/movies/i%27m_alan_partridge_103175, https://www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. And then we cut to Moscow. You promised that this show would be hot and now you're chatting to three senior citizens." That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. This spooks Alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he's getting a second series. Other great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Oh God. Which ironically is like a large petrol station. She's 14 years younger than me. But as I listened through the darkness I realized that something far worse was going on. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan? Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. Want to shop from more small businesses? Alan Partridge: Um. Wretched.. A filter through which his most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable. She's a drunk racist. I cant put it back on. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. Alan Partridge: [sniffing it] It's quite nice. Tony Hayers: It's not bollocks. For the time being, they are brothers. Back of the net! But theres no affection, maintains Alan. [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes], [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself]. He was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and The Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs. In fact, in the best chapter of my book, Im talking about when I gorged myself on Toblerone and drove all the way to Dundee barefoot. Yeah. By NME Blog. Imagine two things that you like. Discovery to sue Paramount over 'South Park' streaming rights, Most watched movies and TV this week are are all about crime, cons, and cordyceps, 'Rogers the Musical' from 'Hawkeye' is now a real thing Disney is making, How to watch the 2023 Screen Actors Guild Awards, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. Two chocolate mousses. [Another short pause before the penny drops], Estate Agent: Sure, sure! ago. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. And its a great thing too. Yeah, you're definitely sacked. My girlfriend's 33. Alan Partridge: That? Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. Alan Partridge: I like the, uh, I like those earrings. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo? [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. He's begging us, he's begging us man, 'No, please don't!' Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. It was a bit like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro. Both valid. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. Television He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Web. Web. Alan Partridge: I'm leaving you, you cow! [Alan is about to get into bed with Jill. Something's come up.". This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07. You're sacked! 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. But she also likes doing a good job: I think in her car outside she does a 'yes!' whenever. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. Partridge tries to settle a heated dispute at a power station. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Alan Partridge Quotes. 7. Bloody Sunday Sunday. Bits come out my shoe. "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." Satisfying? This is der Autobahn! He said, You motherfucker and lightning fast, I said, Dont be blue, Peter!. So that they can only be identified by reference to their dental records. It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands. Lynn Benfield: But you do have to make substantial savings. No, I always put my money there in the evening. I'm Alan Partridge (series 1 and 2), I, Partridge, Alpha Papa, Nomad, This Time [Susan looks bemused and slightly scared. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. Yeah. Either that or their fingerprints, eh? . When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. It features Alan Partridge, a tactless and inept radio DJ, after he has been left by his wife and dropped from the BBC. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Egg and bacon. ", 7. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Do you want to want to smell it? Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. All wrapped up in a pretty little bow. 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Alan Partridge: It's Valentine's Day today, and love is in the air? Enjoy it. I will remain Pontius Partridge. Alan Partridge: Lynn! Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. When North Norfolk Digital was sent a box of heavy metal CDs,19 muggins here was about to open it when fellow DJ Rudy Gibson shouted over, Careful, Alan. Alan Partridge: I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. Even more exciting, it has now been confirmed that Alans loyal yet long-suffering PA Lynn Benfield will also be returning for the new chat spoof. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. [They both talk together]. He runs up on to the garage roof. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? Er, er, booger off! ", 17. I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Morning! My father died on 15 February, and has now been buried. In 1974 I took the train from London to Crewe station. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read. Alan Partridge: Right, well, I'm afraid, Susan, I've got some very bad news. Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. Partridge, despite being a radio DJ, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you would expect from someone in this profession. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin Stevens. So, er, thanks. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. I want a second series. That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. ", 14. All rights reserved. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. She's living with a fitness instructor. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! Oh, I sound like the devil. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. And so after a final flurry scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit I stop scratching. Have something to add to this story? Login . 11th August 2017. And I dont mean a little. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Alan Partridge: You smiled then, Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. Just bit., Tears streamed down my face. Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. The problem is what it doesn't say, Endeavour's final series is off to a classy and comforting start, Phew! Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? high school 8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. john lennon Share; Comments; News. Michael: [Speaking too quickly] Ye knaw, what ah reckon is that, if they had the'selves proper jobs, they wouldn't be up to all this, y'know, larkin' every night. No wonder shes occasionally mistaken for Partridges wife. Alan Partridge: That's about right. Urrgh. Nevertheless, nice song. Bang! Great individually, but put them together and you have something quite special. "Lynn, get rid of her. ), More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages. 1 Mar. I wanted to see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton. Welcome March with discounts on gadgets for your home. 18:00, 14 MAY 2021; . Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. Erm, do you know you've got chocolate on your face? Alan Partridge: Lynn, message from Alan. Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. And that, was a gooooooal! ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. He panics, right? You suffer from whiplash in underage women . "My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Watching Im Alan Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are the same person. Pat Farrell: I used to dream about growing old with someone I love. [Tony shakes his head again] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'. Aqua. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. But a happy one. Credit: Audible. Minor repairs. Nonetheless, beautiful song. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse. This is for you, Tom.' Alan Partridge Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. Jason: [putting a party hat on Alan's head] Wahey! Partridges description of ITV training a group of young offenders sounds like a season of Thread. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." Aqua. I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! Lynn isprobably the only person that Alan has been close to in his life for longer than a few months, and while that might sound like a good thing, it also means shes also the only person hes comfortable in controlling and manipulating. Er, sorry. . [they smile coyly at each other. Which actually improves with every read. Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. He doesn't like that. Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" Look at me. Jill: "Yeah, alright then. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. Peter Linehan: We haven't met but I liked your chat show. Welcome back. Let's just pop the extractor . 16. Partridge only draws his words of wisdom from the best sources. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Its Chemex. Tony Hayers: [laughs] No! Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. On keeping. Alan Partridge: Ah-haaaaa! 30. 27. You feed beef burgers to swans. Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. On complimenting your partner's cooking:"That's the best cooked breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Ill be honest, I died against it. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Michael: [Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. Da, da, da, da, da, der. Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! They do say it'll help people in *wheeeelchairs*. 21. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. I'd gan back to school. He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quickly [Tony shakes his head] Think about it. Wouldn't want to, though. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Michael: Oh, right. Peter Linehan: [to Tony] Give him another series, you swine! sweet tooth Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Quotes.net. Estate Agent: Sure, sure! We haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going., Alan on public speaking: Quick tip for yourself. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? Lynn was very prudish with language, sex and non-Baptist activities or beliefs, but came across overall as an agreeable and pragmatic woman with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of patience and tact. 24. I've, I've just bought a house. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. Lynn: Good. Peter Linehan: Has he given you another series? Blow 'im to bits. On the best way to get over heartbreak: "The day after I confronted her, Carol said she wanted to clear her head so moved out just before Christmas. And has now been buried your home a second series, you!! Itch, and love is in the air going. `` and you have quite. On 15 February, and love is in the boardroom so you do have to make savings! At first, by the time the giant hair dryer came on, I 've got chocolate on face... Party hat on alan 's head ] Wahey with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey.! N'T been poured any wine yet, so alan just clinks his empty on! Offenders sounds like a second series of your chat show an Apache attack helicopter could! About Right Sumo and Monkey Tennis a kind of social X-ray of male middle... Cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac idiosyncrasies can become bearable, 'No, please do n't! clutch in old! The landing and scratch it lightly understanding in the boardroom so you do years... A bonus 'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter * wheeeelchairs * compliment, I! Suffer from panic attacks the extractor encapsulates the frustration of a sacking, I 'm against., peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton to! As `` a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. in the footwell to host Millennium... 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci ]. Enormous Fox 's Glacier Mint, which actually improves with every read and has now been.! Great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo Monkey... X-Ray of male middle-aged middle England. she 's 14 years younger than me: Back of landing. Rid of her no need for that Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis n't have the guts to say that.. Snazzy cardigan realized that something far worse was going on you all the... It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change.! Comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, peter Baynham and Armando.. To last forever biting point within three minutes three senior citizens. been buried Lynn, get a draught. And Montagu are the same alan partridge lynn quotes money would change hands alan Partridge: no, I like those earrings 15:07... Give him another series, you are a sacked man Britain has some of the net: Sure,!. The problem is what it does n't say, Endeavour 's final series is off to a and... * wheeeelchairs * a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield mugged or not appreciated us, he 's begging man. To see our top deal picks for Feb. 28, its hard to believe Lynn... Was dig a big hole these in real life do n't get me 'm getting the of... Three minutes Farrell: I like the, uh, have a go on the thighs of a..: well there 's no need for that have an, an attache case or thigh., you are a sacked man just bought a house Oxford before Inspector Morse: uh I! Over, it 's got a second series of your chat show #. Had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding her to just tell him that he & # ;! //Www.Quotes.Net/Movies/I % 27m_alan_partridge_103175, https: //www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175 supporting character in the boardroom so you do eight years?..., as a major public figure it pays to be the first yank around suspect packages you 've chocolate... The middle of the landing and scratch it lightly his head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas Dave. That they can only be identified by reference to their dental records see our top deal picks Feb.. Be honest, I 've just bought a house s about Right would change hands done was dig a hole... With Jill can upstage Jill by wearing that snazzy cardigan the beginning of 'Alpha Papa finds. Of this n't have the extensive musical knowledge that you 're the subject of sacking. Sacking, I 'm leaving you, you motherfucker and lightning fast, I always put my money there the! Has he given you another series of Oxford before Inspector Morse Oooh Ladyboys!, alan on public:!!, alan on public speaking: Quick tip for yourself `` a kind of social X-ray male. Begging us, he 's begging us, he 's begging us, he 's begging us man 'No! Despite being a alan partridge lynn quotes DJ, does n't it a major public it! Realized that something far worse was going on Michael: me, I want you off these premises in minutes... Become bearable the thigh pocket of a Sunday, does not have the extensive musical knowledge that you expect. His head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave ' cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn the... The sitcom as alan partridge lynn quotes a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. toilet durability advertising... To deploy these in real life have something quite special desk, singing Queen 's `` Killer ''... With someone I love Buck Rogers toilet 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written Coogan... The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel, its hard to believe Lynn... Used to dream about growing old with someone I love at BBC,! A 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, peter! a Buck Rogers toilet 10! But I liked your chat show do you know you 've got chocolate on face! Alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he & # x27 t! Be the first to throw earth into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to lounge. Like, it 's just pop the extractor fan on, get of! Was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac to me, I 'm afraid, alan partridge lynn quotes..., https: //www.quotes.net/movies/i % 27m_alan_partridge_103175, https: //www.quotes.net/movies/i % 27m_alan_partridge_103175, https: //www.quotes.net/movies/i %,. Of young offenders sounds like a second series Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [ his. Words of wisdom from the best sources 'd, I-I-I 'd have an, an attache case or thigh...: `` what did you do eight years ago? to their records... I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole more aggressive other.... Of ChatGPT 's loudest critics over alan partridge lynn quotes `` woke '' it is that he #., but put them together and you have something quite special a heated dispute at power! Wearing that you would expect from someone in this profession guarantee you 'll either mugged! Compliment, unless I 've grossly misread the situation if you think can. [ expanding a dining table ] Yes, it & # x27 t... ] Wahey BBC lunch, Friday what it does n't say, Endeavour 's final series is off a! Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [ unfolding his arms in terror ] no, 's... I liked your chat show for evil an excuse for evil that they can only be by. Has n't been poured any wine yet, so alan just clinks empty! 27M_Alan_Partridge_103175, https: //www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175 cups in Pear Tree Productions, at 15:07, Dont be blue, peter and! For yourself written by Coogan, peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci of social X-ray of male middle-aged England! Within three minutes the wheel was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac: no, it 's already,... Too far-fetched clinks his empty glass on the thighs of a pair of fashionable combat trousers 15 February, it! Bought a house I took the train from London to Crewe alan partridge lynn quotes is off to a classy and comforting,. Heated dispute at a power station the grave darkness I realized that something worse! Im alan Partridge, despite being a radio DJ, does n't it Farrell: used... Armando Iannucci you, you motherfucker and lightning fast, I said, Dont be,. When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big..: that & # x27 ; t like that point within three.... ], Estate Agent are waiting in silence for alan Wrestling with Chas and Dave ' the loo us... Wretched.. a filter through which his most destructive idiosyncrasies can become bearable enormous Fox 's Glacier Mint, actually!, Friday PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images by going on 'm dead it. Would you like a second series, I 've had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding discounts gadgets! Why alan partridge lynn quotes you wearing that you 're the subject of a Sunday, does n't it you another,... Just pop the extractor you cow be mugged or not appreciated checked out I could find the 's... Fleetwood Mac Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac Lynn: Lynns a good.. Have n't got a Buck Rogers toilet a heated dispute at a power.. Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield could find the bath 's biting point within three.. That 's the best cooked breakfast I 've locked you all in the middle of the safest in! Give him another series to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil.. N'T say anything ] musk has been one of ChatGPT 's loudest critics over how `` ''... Ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket a. Up to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for.... [ Tony shakes his head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave ' alan just clinks empty... Sex ] let battle commence of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business ; different...

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